Sex onliners

fan has their favourite character, but it is a truth universally acknowledged that Chandler, portrayed by Matthew Perry, is "the funny one". You only like knock-knock jokes." 5) Rachel: "Chandler, you have the best taste in men." Chandler: "Like father like son." 6) Joey: (running after bus with Chandler) "Ben! I am gonna make myself happy." Chandler: "Do you want us to leave the room?

If any proof was needed of this, you only need to go through the staggering list of one-liners he makes on the show. " 14) Joey: "So, you’re playing a little Playstation, huh?

" Chandler: "Well maybe it was all of your questions." Monica: "What was wrong with my questions? It was like flying with The Riddler." Monica: "I'm sorry, was that another joke? " 12) Monica introducing Brad Pitt’s character: "This is my husband Chandler. " Chandler: "Yes, on a scale from one to 10, 10 being the dumbest a person can look, you are definitely 19." 15) Phoebe: "I just realized something.

" 19) Monica: "Okay, I've got a leg, three breasts, and a wing." Chandler: "How do you find clothes that fit? (Pause) But I don't wanna talk about it." Chandler: "Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa!

Any reasonable person should concede that “Sex and the City” was an above-average television program (at minimum).

You don’t need to think it was a perfect show, or even an outstanding one, but I think most people would agree it was better than average.

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I saw a charity appeal in the Guardian the other day, and it read "Little Zuki has to walk 13 miles a day just to fetch water". My father always used to say, "What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger," - 'til the accident. Which is perfect for her, because not only is she vegetarian... It'll end up leading to gay divorce, and that'll be bitchy.

I didn't realise that when men say they're 'spoken for' that's actually what they mean.

When I was in India last summer, I was listening to a lot of Michael Bolton. I say 'chat', it was her talking at me for six hours.

They may as well have a sign saying "Random accidents ahead", "Life's a lottery, Be lucky." I'm not being condescending, I'm too busy thinking about far more important things you wouldn't understand. I watched those, and couldn't help thinking, "well stop clicking your fingers! I think you're fattest." I hate those e-mails where they try to sell you penis enhancers. I'm not sure about you people, but I think we're being overcharged on groceries. My girlfriend bought a cook book the other day called 'Cheap and easy vegetarian cooking'. The reason old man use Viagra is not that they are impotent. Jimmy Carr Movie Quotes Confetti Antoni (Jimmy Carr): Hello, my name is Antoni Clarke, and I am a bride's best friend.

What exactly am I supposed to do with that information? A big girl once came up to me after a show and said "I think you're fatist." I said "No. Thats because you don't live in new york city" British scientists have demonstrated that cigarettes can harm your children. Boxers don't have sex before a fight, do you know why that is? I'd like to leave you ladies and gentlemen with this frightening fact: I'm not sure if you're aware of this, but if you took all the money that we in the West spend on food in one week, you could feed the Third World for one year.

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